


Turns Out That Nothing is Fair

by daftpen



Series: Things Little My Knows and Snufkin is Still Figuring Out [4]
Category: Mumintroll | Moomins Series - Tove Jansson, 楽しいムーミン一家 | Moomin (Anime 1990)
Genre: Denial, Heartbreak, M/M, No Snorkmaiden Bashing, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-05-31
Packaged: 2020-04-05 04:53:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19041517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daftpen/pseuds/daftpen
Summary: Snufkin and Moomin spend some time apart. Nothing gets better yet, sorry.





	Turns Out That Nothing is Fair

The next year, Snufkin returned to the valley three weeks late. It didn’t take him an extra three weeks to get back. He wasn’t held up by anything. He made camp just outside the valley and took some time to himself. Moomin was surely worried and Snufkin hated that he would cause Moomin worry, but he’d decided, that maybe, it was best that he and Moomin be apart a bit more. They were grown up now, and since Snufkin realized that he couldn’t give Moomin everything he deserved, he would have to let him move on. 

When Snufkin did arrive at Moominhouse, Moomin fussed over him for hours, making sure he was alright, that nothing had happened, asking all kinds of questions. But eventually, he reasoned that Snufkin was his own person, and didn’t have to abide by anyone’s schedule. He would just have to accept that. Even if it did make him sad.

A month went by, and Snufkin kept to himself more often than not. Of course they still went on walks and stargazed and talked and napped together, just… less. Snufkin avoided holding hands. He stopped consulting the cards, as they only told him things he didn't want to hear. At night he stayed in his tent, and Moomin in his room. It hurt. Snufkin felt lonely, even when he wasn’t alone. But this was how it would have to be. He would get over it and he could go back to being friends with Moomin, and he would most certainly recover from his… his what? Crush? Whatever it was, it was a fantasy and he was determined to put it behind him. 

So, as the summer went on, Moomin noticed Snufkin’s distance. When Snufkin was off hiking or holed up in his tent, Moomin usually spent his time reading or with Snorkmaiden. Moomin could tell she liked having him all to herself, although he wasn’t sure how he felt about it. They were very close friends, always expected to be together when they grew up and now, it seemed that it was becoming a reality more quickly than Moomin knew how to process it. But the more time they spent together, the less time he had to worry over Snufkin. She wasn’t just a distraction, no, Moomin genuinely cared for Snorkmaiden deeply, and he was always attentive when they spent time together so that she would never feel like Moomin didn’t want her around. The problem was, he had gotten far more involved than he had intended far quicker than he thought possible. 

Snufkin sat on a hill, leaning against a tree. It was the very same hill and the very same tree where Moomin had tried to ask him if he took lovers during the winter. Snufkin sighed at the reminder of a missed opportunity. He looked down to the field before him where Snorkmaiden and Moomin wove flowers together into crowns and bracelets for each other. It didn't bother Snufkin that they were spending more time together. He couldn't expect Moomin to hide himself away and cry over him, after all. 

Little My came at sat next to him. He hoped she would stay quiet, or at least have something pleasant to say. Despite his hopes, she did not. "They're going to get married, you know." She said, watching as Moomin decorated Snorkmaiden's hair with flowers. 

Snufkin considered her statement for a moment. "Yes, I suppose one day they might." 

Little My was quiet for a few seconds too long. "No one's told you?" 

A sinking feeling washed over Snufkin. "Told me what, Little My?" He said, his voice more serious than he'd intended. 

My suddenly felt very bad as she realized she would be the one to tell Snufkin. "They've already set a date. They're getting married next Summer." She said carefully, watching for Snufkin's reaction. She saw his heart break.

Snufkin took a few shaky breaths, clenching and unclenching his paws. This was fine. This was what he wanted. He wanted Moomin to have a happy life, he wanted his friend to stop wasting time on him, he wanted him to move on. Except that's not what he really wanted at all, but he had decided to stop being selfish with Moomin and so he would. 

Snufkin stood up slowly. "I have to go."  He said, already walking away. 

Little My let him. There was nothing she could think to say that would help Snufkin now. He would have to deal with it on his own.

Snufkin left early that year, and after he left Moomin spent most of his time moping around the house, considering past, present and future and how they were very different from what he had wanted. Sometimes he blamed himself for how things turned out. He could have spoken up, been a bit more bold. But he couldn’t bring himself to take the risk. Perhaps things would have worked out, and he and Snufkin could have a wonderful life together. Or perhaps Snufkin would reject him. But what he was most afraid of was the possibility that Snufkin would give up things he loved to be with Moomin. That he would stop traveling in the winter, that Moomin would make him somehow less free. You can never be free if you admire someone too much. Snufkin had said that, and that was the last thing Moomin wanted. But he knew, at least, he could make Snorkmaiden happy.

**Author's Note:**

> Little My, about to break Snufkin's heart: Oh, haven't you heard?   
> I'm gonna fix it I promise


End file.
